I have a modest proposal for the state legislature: I think we should pass a law that requires doctors to wear a little badge on their shirt that says “Unclean” if they fail to wash their hands at least 12 times per day. Washing your hands is good! It’s almost free! And any doctor who doesn’t comply with the law is obviously evil for failing to meet our arbitrary standards. Doctors will probably object to this because it’s silly and also because any doctor who doesn’t meet the requirement (regardless of their reason) will look really bad with an “Unclean” badge on their shirt, but that’s not really important because after all they’re evil (see above). It’s our right to have doctors with clean hands!